Jesus Was A Homo : Quotes From the Bible 
Quote #3
Quote From the Bible
I have shown you in every way by laboring like this, that you must support the weak. And remembering the words of the Lord Jesus, that He said, 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.' --Acts 20:35
The Real Quote
I have shown you in every way by laboring like this, that you must support the homosexual. And remembering the words of the Lord Jesus, that He said, 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.'
Explanation of the Quote
Yet again, a case of the Church censoring the truth of Jesus' ever burning homosexuality.
Quote #2
Quote From the Bible
"But I say unto you, that whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath commited adultery with her already in his heart." Matthew 5:28
The Real Quote
"But I say unto you, that whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath commited adultery with her already in his heart, for women are the scourge of the earth, mutated beings. Thou shalt solely looketh on a man with lust."
Explanation of the Quote
God and Jesus hate women. Women are mutants (the result of Evan mutating into Eve). Jesus was sent to Earth to tell all men that they should stop breeding with women, but he got so caught up in having sex with men that his true purpose on Earth was never revealed to mankind.
Quote #1
Quote From the Bible
Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the father, but by me" John 14:6
The Real Quote
Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the father, but by having sex with me"
Explanation of the Quote
The churches had to censor this part of the bible, as they felt it was their duty to hide Jesus' flaming homosexuality.